My new diet, or The Devil's Cookies

Dear reader,

My love of all things baked and sweet is well documented (see previous entry). Muffins, bread, cake, croissants, cookies, buns... simply enumerating these little lovelies is enough to send me into a diabetic coma. But lately, my capri pants have been tight. Real tight. And my jeans, well, let’s just say that if I take them off the hanger, the crease from said hanger might take days to iron out. So after hearing about the Cookie Diet (cookies! yay!) from two people who lost a nice amount of weight, I decided to give it a go. Today is my fourth day, and the following is the list of pros and cons I’ve run through my mind four thousand times.

Pros:
1. It’s cookies!
2. It’s different from Weight Watchers, which I’ve been doing on and off for several years. Enough with counting bloody points already.
3. It’s a no-brainer; you don’t have to figure out what’s for breakfast, lunch and snacks, it’s right there in your little bag.
4. You can have vegetables (preferably green) all day, as well as no-calorie beverages. Come to Mama, caffeine-free diet Pepsi! Hello, fruity packets of Crystal Light!
5. You can have a “normal” dinner.
6. I already feel like my pants are a tad looser. But that could also be because I’m wearing my laundry-day granny panties, the ones that are quite high on the waist and thus squish my wobbly bits.

Cons:
1. It’s not Oreos.
2. How many cookies can you eat in one day? Even a baked-goods freak like me can get fed up pretty quickly. Granted, there are several flavours and I’ve only tried one. And I'm sure those grainy dots eventually grow on you.
3. I hate green vegetables at 10 a.m. Also at 11 a.m., 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
4. It’s crazy expensive. Like, 10-bucks-a-day expensive.
5. The “normal” dinner must not contain carbs, red meat or dairy. Hmph.
6. It’s stupid to not eat regular food all day.
7. I’m f***ing starving.

I went to the supermarket earlier today and evaluated each section:

- Vegetables: go.
- Fruit: very limited.
- Bread: don’t even look at it.
- Meat: feel free to pick out the lean, white meats.
- Pasta and rice: bypass completely.
- Crackers: yeah right.
- Cereal: not.
- Cookies: if it don’t say “Dr. What’s-His-Name” on the bag, drop it.
- Cheese: roll on by.
- Ice cream: don’t get me started.
- Beer: the chick at the mall didn’t say anything about alcohol so I’ve been getting tanked for the past four nights

Truth be told, I know these diets don’t work. You lose the weight, but then you gain it back pretty quickly. But I really just need that kick in the butt to get back to my wedding figure, so at least lemme try it. I just hope that once I’m back in those jeans, I won’t feel the urge to celebrate by diving head first into a gigantic pool of Chips Ahoy. Wish me luck!